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Sisters? ...

There's so much that I wna rant out. But who can I go to? Nobody understand what exactly am I feeling. There's so much that I wna do, but nobody give me a chance to. What I can do is to keep all in my heart and let it fade away itself. I'm in my cosy room now, with none at home, how nice. As if I'm staying alone. Sometimes I wonder how nice would it be to stay alone at home. But as time goes by, I'd find it so lonely. I don't know why am I saying all this, as if I'm gonna get depression real soon. I hate the feeling of 'lonely' it simply just sucks so much. I thought I'm the queen, everyone would be there for me when I break down, but I was so wrong. Even "sisters" might back out at any point of time. I always wonder, why am I treating everyone so good when they don't even appriciate. Doing so much, and ending up everything go down as a waste. I always wanted to let go of everything, but when that point of time when you wna let down, you couldn't bare to do so. Why am I so reluctant. I'm fading away from myself, I don't understand 'me' Is that really difficult to find someone really true to you? Speechless.... I'm tired of everything. Just let me leave everything aside, but... can I?